Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
