remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
