Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
