Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
