The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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