check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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