literally had 100 drinks last night.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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