My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
