In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
