Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nobody cheats on THIS.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
