turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
