Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
