Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is Oprah even human
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
