Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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