"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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