1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
