Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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