Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
