HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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