2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
