I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
