Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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