I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
