physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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