So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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