I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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