Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
