My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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