For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
