also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
