I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
