it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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