but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
