I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
