Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
