the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
