On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
