is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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