I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
