Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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