I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
