Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
