I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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