Well douche your snatch and let's go!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
