I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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