You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
