Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
