I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
