you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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