Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
