i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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