If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
